Walk-O-Rama: When we were your age we walked to lunch, 20 miles, uphill, both ways

We tried to be sneaky this week, as birthday girl Diane convinced us all that the best way to celebrate her special day would be to drive to our burrito destination.  Given the high level of humidity, this idea satisfied all.  Many members could not join us today, maybe because they were busy,  but most likely because we had been celebrating Diane’s birthday for two whole weeks, despite her absence, and were by now frankly sick of it.  But today she was actually joining us, and we were driving, so things were looking good.

Imagine our utter dismay when we reached the parking lot and could not decide who should drive due to a lack of car keys.  No one seemed to have them except Kristen, who has notoriously bad driving skills.  Hesitantly, everyone decided to take their chances as we turned towards Kristen’s car, when it was discovered that she, too, had forgotten her keys.  How could this have happened?  We never walk without our keys, since walking through the parking lot on most occasions will surely one day lead to the opportunity to hop in the car and never return to work.  Ever.

The thought that crossed everyone’s minds, but we also forgot our screwdrivers

After lengthy consideration, we decided that we had best start walking, though we were all a little angry at having been tricked by fate and forgetfulness into actually walking on our walk.  At least one member swore in frustration.  We at least thought of the quickest route to our destination, and we actually got there rather quickly.

Luck was again not in our corner when we reached East Coast Burritos and realized that their AC was not working and that the heat outside was cooler than our indoor option.  Lemonades and iced teas were ordered, in addition to a variety of tacos and other delicious Mexican edibles that were consumed over the span of what seemed like five minutes, but was actually much longer.

It was actually a very educational lunch, in which mosquitos were told to now be growing to the size of birds, spiders were growing to the sizes in which they could eat birds, and also birds like chips, which we learned through experience as we fed a nearby bird/possible mosquito some of our snacks.  It was also revealed that Celeste and Kristen (and also probably John, who remained insecurely silent) did not know who Dr. Mudd was.  To Kristen’s disappointment, he was not a James Bond villain.

Dr. Mudd is annoyed that he is no longer as notorious as he had hoped to one day be

No taxis were to be found and no one seemed ready to volunteer to be the one to walk back to get their car to pick up the others, so we were all forced to shuffle on back, even up the big hill that could only be scaled by looking down and concentrating on every footstep, instead of measuring the climb by nearness to the top.  We all made it, though, which is as much of an accomplishment for the afternoon as we will all likely experience.

We do hope you’ll join us next week, when we find somewhere different to go for Kathy’s birthday.  Kathy is still alive, right? If anyone should spot her, please report it at once to the Walk-O-Rama truancy patrol.

True story

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Walk-O-Rama: Burrito Perfecto

As with all Fridays in the office, there was magic in the air.  Or perhaps it was just the gas fumes from the nearby construction machinery.  But whatever the cause, Celeste and John both simultaneously experienced the same hallucination of a walking burrito, which inspired today’s journey to the newly opened East Coast Burrito shop.  John was feeling lucky and willing to bet that the much anticipated eatery would be open for business, unlike last time when he convinced us to brave the oncoming traffic only to find that the Grand Opening that they advertised was neither Grand nor Open.  We hope that this same luck will stay with John till tomorrow night as our hopes and dreams all ride on our group lotto ticket.

John and Celeste envision the perfect Walk-O-Rama mascot – a walking burrito

Upon viewing the online menu, our belief that this burrito shop was indeed Walk-O-Rama perfection was confirmed when we saw the option for Build-A-Rito. Clever.  Like us!

This menu also made Kristen and John very hungry, which motivated them to up it into high gear all the way to their destination. Despite the attempt of the others to take a super secret shortcut to shave a few feet off the walking distance, Kristen and John were already sipping iced tea and lemonade by the time the whole group assembled.  We looked as though we had traveled through the wilderness for days.  Hair was disheveled, grass trimmings adorned one walker, and a general look of fatigue could be seen on everyone’s weary faces.  We can’t wait till they deliver.

Though all the menu selections looked equally tasty, and though the Build-A-Rito option added an extra layer of complexity that might give any angry hungry person a headache, we all were able to order quickly, and were served with equally impressive speed.  Adorable brown paper bags of chips were provided, just like mom used to give us for lunches when sending us off to school.  One walker seemed to recall a memory that these bags inspired and frantically checked inside to make sure there was no note from mom that said “Don’t come back” inside.  It was not, so we shall return to East Coast Burrito someday, likely soon.

Some people were apparently more excited than others to try out a new restaurant

Kristen thought this was exaggerated by an X or two, until the burn set in

Don’t worry, we will

So many delightful options and somehow we ended up back at work

The route back had everyone on edge.  There were so many dangers that needed to be overcome along the way – such as a busy road to cross and a steep hill to climb – and we were much heavier and sluggish than we had been on our way there, putting us at a disadvantage.  Like cheese on a mousetrap, some predator had placed a chair in a netted enclosure, clearly meant to ensnare tired and/or lazy travelers walking along the path.  It was this hunter’s lucky day, for such a pest was tricked into taking the bait!

Ooooo…to our members an unmanned chair is like a huge hunk of cheddar to a hungry mouse!

Got one!

Though we considered leaving him there for the weekend to think about what he’d done, we encouraged him to escape so we could all continue on together (except Kristen, who tried her best to block his exit).  We all strolled back to the office together, motivated only by the thought that there were only a matter of hours until the weekend would be upon us.

We hope you will join us next week when we hope to take advantage of a day as nice as this one!

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Walk-O-Rama: If a Car Going 40mph Can Get There in 2 Minutes, How Long Will It Take Walkers? Trick Question – It’s Closed

Today, for the first time in recorded history, Walk-O-Rama reached a juncture in which half of its participants panicked and retreated in terror. Granted, it was our most dangerous venture to date and the challenge did sound quite daunting when put into words, but surely these walking veterans must have learned to conquer such fears on previous outings.  There were even burritos at stake.  Or were there…?

John took the lead today, which made us all naturally suspicious since he has been getting mocked a lot in recent chronicles of our escapades and we had reason to doubt whether or not he had our best interest in mind.  But he was walking as well, so we figured we were just being overcautious.  As we traveled onward, he explained that the new restaurant, which he knew only by seeing the word”Burritos” as he drove by, was, according to him, only 150 feet away from 7-11, which is on our usual lunch route. (this restaurant was fact checked just in case and did not show up in the Google results – which should have been a sign)  For those who are not aware (eh hem…John), a foot is twelve inches, which is not very long.  The height of the average male is just under 6ft tall.  That means if you were to push John down end-over-end repeatedly while walking, as some of us considered doing on this cold day, you could only do so approximately 25 times in that distance.  However, when he described where we would have to travel in order to get to this new eatery, we began to realize that this was about 10 times further than we were initially led to believe.  Fear seized all.  This could have been overcome if it were not spawned at the exact same time that a confusing walking sign was spotted that sent three members over the edge and caused them to run frantically back to the office.  For those who chose to continue, if only to see whether or not John was a liar, it was a very cold and deadly obstacle strewn path that lay before us.  The divided group said our farewells, just in case we never saw each other again.

Ken trying to be brave on the onset of our journey

The chaotic sign that caused some members to retreat in panicked confusion

Richie looks a little sadder than Kathy by the thought of never seeing us again

Don’t be fooled – Ken snuck in this brave walkers picture so you would think he continued on

Kristen nearly slipped on this comical roadside obstacle, thereby sending her face-first into oncoming traffic

As in the totally awesome game Frogger, we weaved our way in and out of traffic, after taking the super long route that required, for whatever reason, the need to cross the same road twice (note: this was proposed by John, the one who cannot measure distance by any reasonable standard).  Threats were yelled out into the wind about what exactly would happen to him if this restaurant were only a figment of his imagination, and car horns were conveniently sounded at just the right times to censor the wording of these surprisingly descriptive verbal warnings.  Really, Celeste is out of control when cold and afraid.  Look out! The only phrase I recall hearing with any sort of clarity is when she shouted, “John, if this (beeeep) restaurant doesn’t exist, I’m going to <beeeep> <beeeep> your <beeeeeeeeeep>.”  Yikes.

After an eternity, with our ears bleeding from either the cold wind or Celeste’s incessant cursing, we were there.  Fortunately for John, the burrito place did indeed exist.  To the misfortune of all, it was not yet open for business.  Luckily, there was a Chinese restaurant right next door that John tried his best to promote with enthusiastic praises of this cuisine in comparison with its south-of-the-border counterpart. Whatever. It was cold so we ate there.

Beeeeeep. Boy, you’d think we were wearing our “Honk if you love kittens” shirts today

All memories of the unhappy journey were instantly banished from our minds by the description of this Chinese restaurant’s Chef’s Choice Menu options.  There was nothing sexy at all about a skull in a sombrero, even one with a mustache.  B- for effort, burrito place.  We sat and ate the best burritos we had had in quite a while.  It was worth the trip.

Finally, a business who knows how to target their immature dining customers

Best. Burrito. Ever. Well done, Eastern Pavillion

Feeling full and forgetting we were once angry, we decided to head back to work.  Our bitterness quickly returned when we discovered that we would have to conclude our journey with a jog across the expressway and a hike uphill.  Sadly, this exercise left us all too exhausted to sabotage a fellow Walk-O-Rama member’s office as punishment for her being on vacation, which is a shame since we were all filled with just the right amount of negative energy required when we set out on the return trip.

The steep hill that saved our colleague from receiving the prank that she deserves

More on that next week.  We hope you’ll join us to hear all about it!

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