Having learned that former dedicated Walk-O-Rama member Donna had been relocated to the secluded, often thought to be imaginary library branch known to us as MASIC (Mythical Area Serving Imaginary Customers), we determined that we should set off on an adventure to visit her. And that’s just what we did. Many in our party had never been there before, so we thought this would make for a great working lunch. Regrettably, Ken (AKA the guy who knows where everything is) could not join us today, so the rest of us pieced together all of our fragmented memories and suspicions about where we thought we recalled seeing the trail that would take us there. Today’s walk included a guest observer, so we all felt added pressure to show off our professionalism on this very serious, totally physical fitness related walk. As we shuffled along to find the entrance to this “short cut” through the Ashley Schiff Preserve, we saw signs of spring reminding us to chill out and to stop and smell the…whatever these were.
Ann, one of the newest members of the group who had never been on the trail in which we would take, properly pointed out its location before anyone else had seen it. We considered this to be WOR beginner’s luck. Surely she too will slowly lose all sense of focus and direction as her time with the state progresses. We have determined that this condition, of which we all suffer, is properly called Stateemployeeitus. We will leave it to Ann, the Head of our Health Science Library, to verify the accuracy of this definitely not made up medical diagnosis.
The path was long and winding, with at least one hill that had to be inconveniently scaled in an upward direction. If WOR members approach a hill in the woods and no one is there to hear them swear, do they still do it? YES!
At long last we were nearing the end of the great woods and the threat of a TOUS (ticks of unusual size) attack was quickly fading into the distance. We had survived. We had reached South Campus! This revealed challenges of its own, symbolically represented by the lack of the name of the building we sought on the signs – Challenger! We wandered through at least one building that seemed to have all the defining features of the one that houses the library – an overabundance of fridges and freezers lining the halls. After spotting a Wildling frolicking through the halls (Wildling being the name I have just designated to those who study beyond Main Campus in the south), we decided to cautiously approach her for directions. She kindly directed us to the building to the right. Tricky Wildings should not be trusted – that turned out to be the Police Station.
Those less experienced than we might have abandoned the mission and gone back to the office, but we are experts and began to survey our surroundings to find this challenging Challenger building. To the left we saw the last possible building that could house the library, and as luck would have it, it was there! We walked in and saw our friend Donna smiling happily, likely because she had not had to look at our faces for several days since her move.
Like fashion trends, technology seems to cycle around and repeat itself. MASIC is the Paris of our campus, apparently, with all the old styles coming back in vogue. The typewriter is all the rage this spring, as is the HP 5m printer. We all hope to get ours before the season is out.
Peggy revealed that she was actually still working by delivering mail to Donna in her interoffice mail tray. I hope she puts that in her Annual Addendum!
We took a quick tour of the branch before rushing back to work, to thoroughly dispel the myth that this was not an actual library branch. Not only was it real, it was beautiful, which made us all envy Donna’s good fortune!
On the way back, we had difficulty finding our way back into the woods, so Kristen decided to forge ahead and create a trail of her own. This was quite possibly the worst idea of the day, which made everyone miss Ken even more.
But eventually it worked out. The trail was found and successfully followed, and we all made it out alive, except for Celeste and her friend who have not been heard from since. If anyone finds her, please tell her to report back to work immediately.
Join us next time as we show more new people new places. Hopefully Ken will be there to make sure things are found properly.