Walk-O-Rama: What’s Black and White and Burrito-y All Over? Us! Get It?

It is perhaps a good thing that there were only three walkers present on today’s outing, for reasons that will soon be revealed.  Though it started out as well as any walk in the freezing cold could, the frigid winds quickly took hold of our motor functions, and soon after our mental faculties as well.  I also blame my current state of sleepiness on this close bout with what was surely hypothermia.  I refuse to put the blame on the enormous burrito I ate.

It is starting to appear as though we may have walked our restaurant path far too frequently, since the concrete appeared today to be all but destroyed and a crew was there trying to fix it with what Celeste swears was airplane glue.  Some of us might have walked a little slower in that area today, or at least while down wind of the therapeutic aroma.  As we progressed, our frozen eyeballs spotted something a little out of place on the nearby fence.  Though Kristen, with her notoriously shoddy vision, swore this  looked just like a majestic eagle perched proudly on the wire, we later learned, and confirmed with a picture to be viewed when our eyes and brains thawed, that it was indeed the handle of a suitcase.  We knew that this could only belong to one suitcase, John’s.  Campus was put on high alert after we had found the tattered travel gear of our missing colleague.  The emergency search and recover squad was called into action at once.

We would recognize that cheap-o piece of plastic anywhere. JOHN!!

Combing the grounds for signs of John’s carcass. Or bread.

We did what we thought John would want us to do, as we forgot all about him at once and refocused on finding food and shelter.  The group decided on Mexican today, as other more desirable locations take far too long and we all had our serious worker faces on today.  Ken’s side of the table still maintained its tidiness after his meal was complete, but Kristen and Celeste more than made up for his curiously clean area.  To the average observer, it may have looked as if Kristen’s burrito had exploded, since it was spotted in her tray, on the table, all around her chair on the floor, and strangely enough on the ceiling fan.  What did make it to her mouth seemed sufficient in filling her up, though, which would have been good news had Celeste not decided to stealthily leave to buy everyone dessert.  At first it seemed harmless enough, as she came back with just one black and white cookie.  Then she showed us the receipt as proof that there were still two more mystery items on the way.  We all imagined what a xango might be, having never heard of such a Mexican dish.  They are now on the list of WOR’s “must try menu items in the Stony Brook area”.  Actually, they’re the only item, I just made that list up.  Try one!

Celeste proves in writing that we are soon to be forced to overeat.

It was worth it.

With the inferior black and white cookie still in hand, we walked back, some of us reeking a little more strongly of burritos than others.  Oh look…I just found some on my pants. Unfortunately Celeste did not act on her urge to try feeding the cookie to the goose search squad.  It would have made an awesome picture.

Please join us next week as we embark on a walk that will hopefully be a little warmer than this one.

Hey, does anyone know if the geese found John??

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Walk-O-Rama: Where Are They Now?

Now I know you are all wondering where team Walk-O-Rama could possibly be after reading this title, but the sad news (or happy, depending on your view of our group) that I have to report is that we are much the same as we were one year ago when WOR was resurrected like a zombie from the grave, walking around in the cold, desperately searching for food (apart from those of us who were either spending the day golfing or melting away in the scorching heat abroad).  This anniversary was a day for celebration, and we were going to get our pockets full of quarters’ worth.

We ate/drank everything that this could buy

Unlike most days when Richie is not in attendence, we had a clear mission in our minds when we departed, and we did not deviate.  We know how to mark special occasions with class – with onion rings and mashed potatoes, of course!

Some people really dressed up for the outing by wearing sentimental scarves given to them by their fellow walkers, and perhaps those same people were telling the truth when they insisted that they were forgetting it in the restaurant purely by accident.  The matter is under investigation as this is being written.

We discovered, much to our delight, that there are some eating establishments in Stony Brook that give you free food and/or drink not by catching their eye due to attractiveness, but by looking quite homeless and pathetic.  Kristen stumbled upon this convenient bit of information and thought she would express her gratitude to the server who felt that she was clearly too poor to afford this celebratory meal.  Cheers to you, kind sir!

The scarf that caused an ongoing controversy

Dream kitchens were imagined and vividly described at some points during this feast; meals were entirely consumed and empty plates momentarily considered being sent back since they were found to be initially lacking a garnish; politics were briefly discussed, at which point we all realized it was time to call it a day (didn’t these walks begin a year ago as 20 minutes?).  A lovely time was had by all, or at least me, and I’m the one telling the story.

In other hemispheres of the globe, some regular walkers, upon receiving the last minute call to celebrate our walking anniversary, tried desperately to make it back by noon. But the effort was in vain.  Unable to decipher the nonsensical Australian signs, poor John somehow ended up stuck in New Zealand.  Though the scenery was beautiful to be sure, his WOR friends were not there and he began to despair.  Apparently, according to the pictures he posted online, he made several attempts to end his young life as best he could in his state of depression, but much like in the movie Groundhog Day he always awoke the next morning in the same middle of nowhere location.

A sign any idiot could interpret…save one

John rashly decides to end it all since he cannot celebrate with his coworkers

This bold attempt was also a miraculous failure

Though some members may not make it back in time for our walk next week, we do hope you will join us.  I know joining our group is number one on all of your New Year resolutions for 2013!

How can you say no to these faces? Seriously.

 

 

 

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Walk-O-Rama Special Edition: Walkabout-O-Rama

These past few weeks, as many of us have been lazing around and bulking up in part due to Ken’s delicious Christmas cookies, our colleague John has been having a supposedly “epic” time in the land down under, AKA Australia (not New Jersey, for those of you who are now frantically consulting a map to see what is geographically under Long Island).  All we asked is that he keep us posted on his travels.  It can’t all be fun and games, right?  Surely even the most memorable of walkabouts must leave time and energy for blogging.  But no.  We have been forsaken for this new and exciting land, provided only with a few pictures that I was forced – yes forced, I say! to steal from the internet.  Therefore I have taken it upon myself to provide, in surprising detail, what John must surely be up to on his Australian excursion, based on the story that his pictures tell.  Understand that my knowledge of the country is based purely on the also “epic” film Crocodile Dundee, which means this should be awesome.  Let John himself amend it if he so chooses, though whatever he might write would surely be just that much lamer.

John’s vacation began as most do, as he partook in generic tourist activities, such as drinking some suds with some marsupials and riding a kangaroo to and fro.  Though he quickly gained friends among the wildlife, having struck out on several occasions when he attempted to form acquaintances with locals and fellow tourists alike, he did not remember to do the number one highest of high priorities on his travel agenda, which was to wrangle some sloths and sugar gliders to bring as souvenirs for his fellow walkers.  This will be remembered. Forever.

Driving to the office will never be quite the same ever again

John’s marsupial counterpart

As riding helpless animals grew old (they were not equipped with boxing gloves, as Looney Tunes has led us all to believe), John considered walking about on a three day hike, since he missed his campus walking group with a quiet desperation that no man can bring himself to openly admit (it’s ok, John, you don’t have to say it).  He chose instead to embrace the true spirit of our O-Ramas by hitching a ride on a bus for the duration of his Outback hike. Way to go!

The only way to hike

The Outback is a dangerous, unforgiving land filled with vicious creatures such as numbats and dingos, which are deceptive in their comical names, especially if you’re a termite or a baby.  The brave hikers took shifts watching over the rest of the peaceful sleepers.  On John’s night to cook for the troop he served his meal with a nice  brew, Foster’s, which was the only thing he had packed for the trip and which he had been hauling for days.  Unfortunately, this brand is actually just American for Australian beer, as he learned, and he was openly mocked by the party.  As it turns out, it was not even good to simmer in and instead ruined the group’s food and only cooking pot.  Not everyone is as socially forgiving as his colleagues at home, which we hope he will long remember.  That night John relinquished his watch and the tour guide worked till dawn trying to scrape the charred Foster’s from the pot.

No friends were won on this night

Though I would love to write more of what I believe are John’s wild adventures, I am being called away to work and must change this blog’s password before I rush away so that he cannot remove this post.  We all hope a valuable lesson was learned today – one should always write home to friends, especially when they have convinced themselves and each other that you solemnly swore to do so every day.

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