Walk-O-Rama: Totally Schooled by a Small Child

Today our group convened despite the threat of incoming thunderstorms.  Though not a drop of rain fell during the .8 miles that we traveled, it was felt by some (aka me) that it would have been a better day to park in front of a nice office fan.  Sticky, humid weather is something new to the Walk-O-Rama experience.  Winters can be dealt with, early Spring is a delight, but this is a horse of a different color.  A continuation of such meteorologically induced discomfort will not be tolerated.

Due to a lack of pictures taken, nearly all of today’s images have been jacked from someecards.com

But let’s get to the real root of the problem.  Truth be told, it was not the weather that was at fault for today’s annoyance, nor was it the fact that we did not initially walk to a food source, a decision which my stomach openly and quite audibly protested.  Oh no, these things could all have been dealt with.  But being schooled by a child on fashionable walking techniques…well, that was an outrage.  Walking has, after all, become part of our profession. This is jealousy talking, of course.  Grant, our youngest participant to date, who stepped in as John’s understudy while he is away, displayed some pretty wicked walking moves that could only be envied by the rest of the party as we admitted our deficiencies in the energy department.  Grant flailed about gleefully, leaving us all struggling in his wake, as he sped past and then momentarily paused and waited for us to catch up.  He had so much energy remaining after this display of superior dexterity, in fact, that he tried to drain the rest by pushing the largest boulder on campus back to the library.  To our shameful delight, he was unsuccessful.  Sinister smirks passed under the breath of all present, except his mother, who is a good person.  There was a point in which Grant had ceased walking with the group so that he and Gisele could go get some food to refill his empty tank, but then a small voice yelled “Psych!” and in rushed Grant again as he raced by and made us all look like we had been walking in place.  He kept up for over half a mile before his little legs gave out and he was forced to circle back to refuel.  I was envious. I needed to refuel.  Little did I know that this was turning out to be one of those walking walks.

Yes, I was confused by the objective

Some interesting things can be noticed when you’re looking around trying to focus on anything except your hunger and the small child effortlessly making you look and feel old and decrepit.   For instance, Celeste and I both observed two previously unseen outbuildings that were completely camouflaged by abundant ivy.  The conclusion was drawn by some (aka me) that these buildings contained either 1) a secret garden or, more likely, 2) a top secret lab where smart people work on creating interesting things.

One innocent possibility

OR…

No, not that kind of lab!

We had wandered pretty far – past the Roth Pond, where we all fondly recalled our awesome 2nd place speedster victory in the Regatta, beyond the cute little goslings that Grant sadly missed, and down a trail with an overgrown bench where no gardener had clearly tread in decades.  It began to look as though we would never return to work or our nice office fans, which had only one plus side…

Somehow I do not think this is true, however

Eventually, though, all routes on campus lead back to the library, somehow, despite any efforts to accomplish the contrary, and the building was soon in view. To stall our return and fulfill the group’s #1 objective on truly serious outings, we did veer off toward the SAC to grab some food, which made my stomach very happy.

Join us next week for what we hope will be a less humid adventure.  And don’t be intimidated by the threat of Grant’s awesomeness – he should be back in school by that time.

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Walk-O-Rama: the case of the missing Wrap Shop

Today our hungry stomachs drove us out into the wilderness to locate a restaurant that served wraps, which Celeste somehow managed to convince me existed.  I could even picture the name and store front sign, perhaps due to some hunger-induced state of delirium.  In our typical lemming fashion, we all proceeded to hunt for the elusive shop with their wraps that were sure to be delicious, but we were unsuccessful.  Luckily, our trusty soup restaurant happened to be located in nearly the exact same place where we stood puzzled and confused…and thank goodness, they sold wraps!

This, in case you have forgotten, is the very same Soups On restaurant that posted written threats about behaving yourself and tipping in order to live a happy life.  Therefore, we all were on our best behavior, which is still lacking compared to others’ standards of good behavior, and emptied our pockets into their larger than normal tip jar.  It was pretty close to overflowing, probably due to previous customers who were just as frightened as we were.  Wraps, soups, and numerous variations on the classic grilled cheese sandwich were thoroughly enjoyed by all (though we would not allow the chefs, who made sure to stay in full view, see our disappointed expressions if we were dissatisfied).

The trip back was also loaded with confusion.  A woman asked for simple directions to an equally elusive blue rock, her only landmark indicator, to which Kristen offered her imitation drill sergeant directions: left, right, left right.  She drove off into the distance, most likely more baffled than ever.  Unfortunately, we forgot to initiate our scripted library outreach speech, which may be for the best if I we caused her to get lost and begin fearfully weeping in some far away parking lot. Best of luck to you, person.

I attempted to find a picture of this mysterious blue rock on Google Images, but it could not be found. Therefore, it is my belief that it does not exist. A photo of this pigeon did come up during my search, however, so I will insert it for your viewing pleasure.

the SBU blue rock pigeon. Warning: it is mobile and should not be used in landmark directions

Kathy and Min did not stop while these directions were being given, they were on a mission.  They were bound and determined to beat us back to base in half the time, and they did.  But apparently we were not quite as slow as they had expected, as Kathy inquired if we had taken the bus back when she saw me in my office.  I scoffed at the idea that we, professional walkers, would stoop so low.  In truth, it had not occurred to me.  In hindsight, perhaps it would have been wisest to hitch a ride from the lost traveler and personally give her directions, but we were full from our scrumptious lunch and already shutting down our brains in preparation for nap time.  Maybe in the future, when we attempt Public-Transport-O-Rama.

If this alternative sounds more alluring than walking, then we hope you will join us.

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Walk-O-Rama: Like The Postal Service, only self sustainable

Today the Walk-O-Rama team did something the US Postal Service used to brag about until they realized they were only fooling themselves – we braved the elements of nature to complete our regularly scheduled objective.  In this particular case, it was a slight drizzle that threatened our outing.  But our spirits could not be dampened quite so easily.  After tossing around some options of places that could comfortably be explored, we decided to walk on over to the least comfortable place on campus, the aged Sports Complex.  This location was chosen because it houses a conveniently dry track on which to walk. Unfortunately, tedious loops do not leave much room for adventure or exploration, but we did have a good time and burned what must have been billions of calories regardless.

Come visit the Sports Complex before it is overshadowed by its newer cooler replacement next door.

At first we were sure the fates were against us on this day, as each door we attempted to open to both the building and the track was locked.  Fortunately, Ken and Celeste are both very sneaky and cunning and were able to locate suitable entrances to both access points.  We were in! Luckily there were no guards on duty at the desk to prevent us from making our way through and completing our mission.

As with most sports, there was gender segregation on the track, with the girls clearly displaying their walking superiority over their male counterparts, who lied on several occasions regarding the number of laps they had completed.  Kristen and Celeste explored very pleasing conversation topics, such as Disney World and cake, whereas the boys were mostly heard complaining about the excruciatingly long distance.  It seemed as though we had walked 8 times more than the required number of laps for a mile (7.3), and according to the guys, we had.

7 1/3 or 7113 laps? Whichever it is, I’m sure we must have finished it.

After a short period of time, a few joggers, as well as a toddler who seemed to be aimlessly wandering, began lapping us at an alarming rate.  We did not need to take this…we took our coats and left.  On our way out, Celeste was startled by a severely incorrectly timed clock and thought that our mile had taken us over two hours to complete.  Perhaps we had walked over a dozen laps, as the men in our group had claimed? Not so. With the little time we had remaining, we began the journey back out into the rain.

The trip back involved discussion over where our next walk would be held.  The baseball fields, perhaps?  Or maybe some mysterious path that Richie keeps alluding to?  Wherever it is, we hope you can join us!

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