The triumph of this week’s adventure nearly trumped the legendary conquest achieved by Arielle last week when she successfully ate a Green Cactus burrito and was not forced to abandon her meal due to any ridiculously spicy hot sauce or spices. Go Arielle! Since Ken and Kristen were the only two up for escaping the office today (which is just weird people – I mean come on!), they decided their odds at finding enough bikes to ride in the campus bike share stalls would be slightly better than last week’s failed attempt. And they were right! Ken even had a route in mind! For over a year now he has been talking about some mysterious clearing that he once stumbled upon, and he was set on finding it and showing it to all who were dumb enough to follow (Kristen). It was bound to be an adventure unlike any other! Or at least a good way to burn a few calories, which is a good thing.
Having swiped their cards at the pay station, they were forced to pretend to read many rules, instructions, terms and agreements, and other such nonsense that they simply agreed to so the machine would release its death grip on the bicycles and allow them to begin having some major fun. This major fun was found in the form of Kristen nearly crashing because she wanted to take pictures in motion and Ken narrowly avoiding wiping out when he could not figure out how to switch gears. All initial difficulties being soon after overcome, the two headed out to find this legendary clearing in the nearby forest.
Moments into the ride, both bikers were quickly realizing that biking is BS, with the exception of those downhill slopes that proved to be few and far between. Cursing happened. Before too long, a barely visible trail was in view, and all signs of civilization were quickly left in their dust.
This is when Kristen learned for sure that Ken did not know where this clearing was located. In fact she’s pretty sure he dreamt it. While intoxicated. Turns left, right, and in a u shape were made at every opportunity, until the rugged trail that they were following was little more than a mere parting of a few shrubs where some deer had likely once passed. A few familiar signs were spotted along the way that helped guide them on their journey, which were particularly helpful for the return trip when they were racing back to try and beat the clock to avoid paying another four bucks.
The pair could not contain their excitement when they were soon close enough to the forest perimeter to hear traffic. Though the rain clouds above gave Kristen hope that a downpour might give her a legitimate excuse to be wet so she would not have to admit to just being super sweaty, precipitation held back for the remainder of this rigorous adventure. The cooler breeze felt while gliding downhill did do its part to refresh the riders, in much the same way the intense air blowing cycle works to dry cars in a car wash, so they could not complain.
They made it back with mere minutes to spare, but to their dismay they could not figure out how to properly return the bikes that they now never wanted to set eyes on again. A kind stranger shared the secret method of making them lock, bringing an official end to this week’s adventure. Never had refueling been more of an emergency than it was after this particular calorie burn, so operation carb fest was initiated to recoup all losses.
Join us next week when we will not do this again.