Tell me, O muse, of that ingenious hero who traveled far and wide after he had sacked the famous town of Stony Brook. Many cities did he visit, and many were the nations with whose manners and customs he was acquainted; moreover he suffered much by sea while trying to save his own life and bring his men safely home; but do what he might he could not save his men, for they perished through their own sheer folly of eating whilst they should have been walking.
The first paragraph may or may not have been partially plagiarized by Homer’s Odyssey
The Eat-O… I mean Walk-O-Rama group set off with full intentions to ‘walk’, but with no destination decided and a strange gravitational pull in the general direction of all the food establishments located off campus it quickly became clear that we would end up trying out yet another Stony Brook restaurant.
Image from a completely different Homer’s Odyssey. One that more than likely also involves food.
We quickly discovered ‘Jakes Star’ a nice restaurant which serves sandwiches, cakes, and drinks. Not all of us stuck with the more lunch appropriate sandwich selection.
The remains of a nutritious ‘lunch cake’
Honestly, who orders a plate of butter for lunch? Honestly, who does that?
Following his on campus cash collecting duties, Ken took charge to make sure that we didn’t stiff the waitress on the bill. We sauntered out of the establishment slightly defeated in our menu choices and in the realization that no one has turned on the AC outside.
“These riches are possess’d, but not enjoy’d!” Homer’s Odyssey Book 4
During our return journey we came across an alarming ancient stone carving warning us of our impending doom by remaining on campus.
On sight of this sign a pale fear seized every one; they were so frightened that their arms dropped from their hands and fell upon the ground at the sight of the sign, and they fled back to the library for their lives. But Ulysses gave a great cry, and gathering himself together swooped down like a soaring eagle. Then the son of Saturn sent a thunderbolt of fire that fell just in front of Minerva, so she said to Ulysses, “Ulysses, noble son of Laertes, stop this warful strife, or Jove will be angry with you.”
Thus spoke Minerva, and Ulysses obeyed her gladly. Then Minerva assumed the form and voice of Mentor, and presently made a covenant of peace between the two contending parties.
Yeah, you caught me; I plagiarized the ending to the Odyssey…In reality we walked back in the 90 degree heat and spent the next four hours fighting off a food coma.
The End.
-John Amrhein (and Homer)
Walk-O-Rama 